Premarital Counseling and Ceremony Support
We highly recommend that couples work with experienced officiants for their weddings. Rabbis and cantors receive extensive training in how to perform weddings and how to customize them for different couple's needs (including interfaith couples, queer couples, and weddings on Shabbat). They also are trained in premarital counseling which helps couples identify strengths and weaknesses in their relationship before issues snowball and become bigger issues.
That said, according to Jewish law, Jewish weddings do not have to be performed by a rabbi or cantor to be legally binding, they only have to be done well. We have found that many couples opt, for one reason or another, to have a friend or family member officiate their wedding. While it is easy to get online ordination to perform a wedding (and we do NOT provide this), it is difficult to learn how to learn how to meaningfully officiate a wedding, or to counsel couples they are close to. We offer the following resources to couples getting married without clergy present who would like rabbinic support.
Supporting the Ceremony
Unorthodox Celebrations' founder Rabbi Getzel has performed dozens of weddings and offers personalized training and support for those who want to learn how to better lead a Jewish wedding. Consultations cost $150 per hour and are done online or by phone. Rabbi Getzel can help couples or officiants:
Choose an appropriate and meaningful ketubah text
Learn the traditional wedding service script
Consult on how to adapt this form for an individual couple (For feminist, LGBT, interfaith, atheist, or aesthetic reasons).
Personalizing Your Ketubah Series
Your ketubah (Jewish wedding contract) is a legal document, a piece of art, a visual reminder of your wedding day, and so much more.
While there is a standard text used in traditional ketubot (plural of ketubah), we are excited to offer you the opportunity to personalize your ketubah! Whether you want to make some small adaptations to the traditional ketubah language or design a ketubah for your marriage that reflects your individual vision from scratch, we are here to help. These personalizations can include, for example, language for interfaith couples, queer couples, or simply reflecting your personal values and vision for your family that is not included in the traditional ketubah text.
This workshop includes three guided sessions (two 1-hour sessions, and one 30 minute session) with Rabbi Getzel in which you will have an opportunity to envision your marriage together and design your own personalized ketubah language.
The cost for the workshop is $500.
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Spiritual Counseling for Couples
All couples face relationship issues as they plan their wedding. There are new stresses as families of origin test boundaries with the couple. Couples themselves have new challenges to work through in the negotiation, planning, and follow-through of the wedding. Religious differences can come to a head as the couple and their families decide what is important to them in the ceremony itself. It can be very useful to have an experienced guide to check in with through the process and support you in learning from the experience.
It is a difficult to transition from being dating to becoming a family. Some move through this transition quickly, others take their time. In either case, the period of wedding planning is a wonderful opportunity to vision what this transition to family means to both partners, financially, familiarly, religiously, and spiritually. It is a shame to waste the opportunity to vision your life together. Even if you have opted out of having a rabbi perform your ceremony, you might want to speak to one as you plan your life together.
The fee for premarital counseling with Rabbi Getzel ranges from $150-$180 per 50 minute hour. Couples typically meet a minimum of three sessions.
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Prepare-Enrich Couples Check Up
Every marriage benefits from a periodic check-in. Parenting, career, family responsibilities, health, and just life in general, impact the vibrancy of relationships. Over time, couples often lose the ability and desire to talk about their relationship. Reignite companionship, romance, and commitment with Prepare-Enrich Checkup with Rabbi Getzel Davis. We will dive into an assessment to highlight your strengths, areas for growth, personalities, and families of origin and pair it with exercises that will meet your specific goals and help cultivate meaningful conversation. You’ll come away with an authentic understanding that makes a difference in how you think about and talk about your relationship. Covers the core relationship topics known to enhance relationships, along with insights on the individuals' one-of-a-kind personality and family of origin. The assessment results provide a holistic view of the couple.
$150 for hour long session.
Rabbi Getzel Davis is the founder of Unorthodox Celebrations and a graduate of Hebrew College's rabbinical and educational schools. He completed a certificate in Family Systems Therapy and is a Jewish Chaplain at Harvard University. He is a Keshet trained Jewish GLBT educator, a certified PREPARE/ENRICH Couples Facilitator and a member of Rabbis Without Boarders. He spent a year in 2010 in Jerusalem studying Jewish law and mysticism on love and marriage. He loves performing weddings and working with couples. Getzel married his beloved wife Leah in 2015.
Note: Getzel is not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, and this work is not itself and is not a replacement for psychological therapy. Psychiatric counseling may be a better fit if you are struggling with emotional or personality disorders, addictions, or deep family issues, or if you are feeling highly depressed or driven by phobias.